Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
