i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
