Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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