you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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