I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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