okay pat passed out under dana's car
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
