I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
