The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
