i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
