But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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