how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
