his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
