We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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