we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
as a side note pls kill me
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