I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
