You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
