oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize