You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
