talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
