There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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