I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
