You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I believe in your delicious
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
