very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish i was in the wii world.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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