so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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