i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
