Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You don't make any sense
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