Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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