So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Man, jail baloney is awful.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
