i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
