A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
