Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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