I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
