I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize