We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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