And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
