Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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