Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
