Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
