I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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