At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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