i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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