And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was born a porn star she said
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
