Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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