laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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