I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
should my penis look like a turkey
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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