If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
did you just send me my own nude
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
