Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
