I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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