I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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