So drunk its hurt
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
