You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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