this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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