Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
