Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
