Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
false alarm. still invincible.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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