here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
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she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
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I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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