the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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