I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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