question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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