she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
