ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
