shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You ate ashes out of my bong
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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