i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
