I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize