oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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