Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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