I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
