You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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