No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Couch. On fire.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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