Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
