Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
