Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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