The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
